(no subject)

now I need to dig up the patience to sort some 4 years worth of magazines so I can get them off the floor and away from where I want the couch. which means I should find something that'll take my computer a while to finish, like emerge sync or compiling KDE or something.


on a completely unrelated note, I think I'm going to kill my Merchant and start a new DEX-based one. only obstacle is, I need to con someone (my brother) into holding my cash for me. this oughtta be fun.


hm. need to remember to set up that cron job to grab the latest Mozilla nightly like I keep planning to do.


damn BeOS Personal Edition for not working. tried it on Windows, tried it on Linux, neither one worked. need a keyboard so I can try some stuff on my other computer. need to put my mind together so I can think straight. think I'll do that now.

(no subject)

well, my putative father has once more decided that I am not permitted to speak when he decides I mayn't, whether he chooses to inform me or not; that he may gratuitously insult me, while I am expected to accept them as my just due; that his being right, without disagreement, is worth physically assaulting me; that my mother defending me by forcing herself between us is unshakable proof that she doesn't love him, doesn't care about his views, and wants a divorce so she can just fuck around; and that my being his child, whom he defends and supports, is only true when I kowtow to his every whim.

so much for the "man" who raised me to stand up for my beliefs and my rights, and to never allow another to victimize me.

oh, and I'm supposed to be removing my person and my belongings from his land as soon as is possible. again. simply because I protested his bellowing of, "SHUT UP MOTHERFUCKER!" in my face.

I'm finally coming to understand that the father I loved is long dead, and that the person calling himself my father is violently dangerous to me.

I need to pack.

(no subject)

y'know, it's probably a bad sign that I can't seem to care about anything that's going on right now. he kinda obliquely semi-apologized, and all I could do was stare at him. all I really have left on packing is putting my shirts in my duffel bag, throw some shoes on, pull my computer, and go. well, assuming that either my grandfather or my uncle is willing to come pick me up. the only thing I'm worried about is: what'll happen to my kitties?