casual self-destruction

[hyuri]

I'm doing it again. just little shit, but... I'm doing it again. blowing off responsibilities, ignoring things I enjoy doing, not eating, guzzling sugar-laden drinks... and the only reason I noticed is because I realized I was sticking a pin into my finger: through the flesh; pushing it through layers of ski and then back out the surface, then ripping the loop formed apart. it's a little thing, but I used to it when I was gearing up for some monstrous self-destructive fuck-up or other.

well, that, and I've been listening to Springsteen again. that's never a good sign. not always bad, but certainly not good.