(no subject)
Nov. 29th, 2004 05:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hyuriit calls to you, y’know? sometimes you’re just sitting there, not even depressed, really, but ... there’s something about it that’s frightening and painful and addictive. and you don’t want to do it, but there’s a part of your mind that you have to fight for control, keep it on “I don’t want to do, I shouldn’t do it” instead of “why did I do it?”
it’s... it’s like there’s something else in my head with me, something that doesn’t care about the consequences, or about what I want, or even what I need. and it demands—and expects—obedience. frighteningly, not without reason.
sometimes I wonder if I’m really the only inhabitant of my mind, and how much the other denizens dislike me.
and sometimes, like now, I wonder why I feel like crying.
it’s... it’s like there’s something else in my head with me, something that doesn’t care about the consequences, or about what I want, or even what I need. and it demands—and expects—obedience. frighteningly, not without reason.
sometimes I wonder if I’m really the only inhabitant of my mind, and how much the other denizens dislike me.
and sometimes, like now, I wonder why I feel like crying.
